Chapter twenty-two: The manta of Halagat

Trigger warnings for those who need them

No trigger warnings.

“Run.” I tell Alice, yanking her by her arm, propelling her to the door.
The man shouts something behind us in Cygnian but my eyes are locked onto freedom.
I know this isn’t gonna be enough.
Getting out here is just gonna get us out of immediate danger.
Alice is huffing and gasping next to me, startled by the sudden action but I have to be cruel for a bit.
Once we’re in the train back to Halagat we can cool down again.
“You’re doing great Alice, just keep going.” I tell her.
“I can’t-I-“ she starts coughing and her knees give out, crumpling beside me.
Dammit!
I stop, bend through my knees “Get on my back.”
She wraps her arms around my neck, I pick her up.
I keep running.
She’s heavier than I expected.
It’s probably because she’s taller than me.
“Is he following us?” I ask Alice.
“I see three men in blue uniforms but the first man is gone.”
Why run yourself when you can delegate? I don’t think he was lying when he said he used to be a general. “How much distance?”
“Hard to tell.”
“Tell me when they get within a hundred meters. We might have to fight then.”
“Okay.”
My lungs are on fire but I push down the instinct to slow down.
Safety first.
Comfort later.
The steps are only a stone’s throw away.
But there’s a problem.
“Alice?”
“Yes.”
“There’s a train at the station. I need you to stop it from departing so we can get on.”
“Wait! for us!” She hollers without question. A tentative arm lets go of my neck and waves. She then quickly grabs hold of me again “I think they saw us.”
Good.
“Have you caught your breath yet?” I ask.
“I think so.”
“Good, I need you to jump off and run the last bit with me. I don’t think I can make it up the steps with you on my shoulders.”
“Okay.”
I slow down enough for her to make the jump, then grab her hand again “We just need a final sprint.”
She nods.
We run.
My legs are stinging and aching but if we can get on the train and shake the uniforms half the battle is already fought.
If not.
I’ll need to talk myself out of it. I have the advantage that Clara Lyonsi is old so I can cast doubt on his wits.
But the fact that we ran does make it hard to believe there’s nothing amiss.
Alice’s papers are good but would they pass scrutiny when people are actively looking for fakes?
It’s hard to know.
I pull the tickets from my pocket-
“Ticket please.” the conductor asks.
I push them in his hands “Apologies for the delay.” I gasp.
My heart pounds in the back of my throat as he checks them.
Hurry up hurry up hurry up.
“Have a seat.”
“Thank you.”
I wobble to the wooden bench and crash down. I try to calm my breathing and ignore the soreness in all of my muscles.
Relief washes over me as the train screams and starts to run.
Alice leans into me as she tries to recover herself. I can feel her heart rattling in her chest.
“Are you okay?” I breathe softly.
“Uh huh.”
“Good.” I put a hand on her head, let it drop to her shoulder and roll my head to the side to watch the landscape zip by.

Back in Halagat we rush to docks and order two tickets to Helliar.
“But what about Xuiyo and Hamala we-“ I shush her.
“It’ll be okay.” I turn to the clerk “We just need to pick up our things first.”
“Better hurry, we leave in thirty minutes.”
“Great more running.” Alice moans.
I drag her along to the dancing dog to pick up our stuff.
“I thought you were staying another night?” the tenant asks surprised.
“So did we but something came up, you can keep the fee but please tell me where the nearest Xjawaw restaurant is.”
“Oh, uh that’d be Joolu on Yassing street.”
“Thank you for your hospitality.”
“Thank you for the listening ear. Dorris and I are gonna have a talk this weekend on how we can make this work.” The man announces proudly.
Alice pulls up and eyebrow at me.
I smile. “That’s a very big step, do you think the two of you can manage?”
“We’ll have to now since you’re leaving.” He chuckles, then coughs “Whatever you did it helped file off some sharp edges we had between us. So I think we’ll be okay”
I nod knowingly. Then head out with Alice.
“We’re going to dinner first?” Alice asks “What about the boat?”
“We’re not taking the boat. We’re gonna stay the night and head back tomorrow, hopefully whoever’s still out to follow us will have picked up on the ticket and moved on to Helliar by then.”
“But we just cancelled out room?”
“Yes. I know.” I sigh “It’s going to be okay. Just help me locate the sign to Joolu.”

I take a breath and pass the beaded curtains into a place that smells like home.
“Good evening madam, you wish to dine?” It’s been a while since I’ve seen a face that looks like mine. It soothes my heart and strengthens my resolve. “I need a manta and food but manta first.”
The woman nods. “Please follow me.”
We pass by all the low tables and gilded mirrors and into the kitchen where the spices are fierce and the flames inside the fire-pots rise high and mighty.
Alice stays close to me, practically hiding behind me.
“Twamo, there’s someone who needs a manta.”
“What for?” The question comes from a bald man as he puts turns down the fire in his pot.
The woman looks at me. I step forward “I need a place to sleep away from prying eyes. The girl I have with me is being hunted by people who mean her no good.”
“Is the girl innocent?” he asks.
I shrug. “Bit hubristic sometimes but mostly harmless.”
The man laughs, Alice looks at me questioningly, I put a hand on my shoulder.
“How long do you need to hide her?”
“One night until we can get on our way again.”
He nods. “You can stay in the storage room.”
“Thank you.”
“You needed food as well?” The woman who brought us into the back confirms.
“Yes, but we can pay for that, and the accommodations too.” I quickly add.
Twamo shakes his head. “The storage room isn’t worth much, but the food is quite delicious.” he then directs his attention back to the waitress “Please escort the women back to the restaurant for food and refreshments.”
“Yes Twamo.”
I bow to the man “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” he says, then continues cooking.

We return to the restaurant.
“Please have a seat, I’ll be with you in a moment.”
“Thank you.”
I offer Alice a seat first, then sit down across from her.
“Your language sounds very pretty.” She says and I can’t help but laugh in response. All this running and tension and somehow that’s the first thing to come out of her mouth.
It seems awfully like her “Thank you. The waitress will be here with tea soon. Do you know what you want to eat?”
She rests her elbows on the table, then lays down her head. “I don’t even know what they have here, do they have a menu or something?”
“There’s a sign on the wall. They have pjo, sji or yaki.”
“Only three choices?”
“In Xjawa, restaurants don’t work like they do in Choumuri. Rather than preparing a bunch of small dishes, they’ll make a handful of big pots of food and then serve those with bread and fresh fruit. That way they need less supplies and there’s less waste at the end of the day.”
“I see. And what’s what exactly?”
“Pjo is chicken with apricots, nuts and spices.”
“That sounds nice.”
“Sji is chickpeas with lemon, mint and parsley. Yaki is lamb with pine nuts, garlic and pepper.”
“Now you went and made the choice difficult again.” She pouts “What do you recommend?”
“Well I believe you’re not a big fan of spicy dishes so how about we start with sji and if you feel like eating more after we can try pjo as well?”
“Sounds like a plan.”
The waitress shows up with our tea and leaves a metal teapot and cups on the table “Can I get your order?”
“Sji for us please.”
“Right away.” The woman nods politely, then looks over to Alice, voice dropping to a careful tone. “Will the girl be okay?”
“Yes, thanks to your help.”
“I’m glad.” She bows, then walks back towards the kitchen.
“Do you want tea?” I offer.
“Isn’t the waitress supposed to do that?” Alice asks looking after the woman.
“In a Cygnian restaurant perhaps.” I pick up the teapot and fill my cup with the delicious smells of fresh qjata. I hold up the pot for her.
“Yes please.”
I fill her cup, then raise my mug “To celebrate you getting your flying certification.”
“Right, thank you.”
She sounds a bit despondent about it, considering all that happened afterwards, I can’t even blame her.
“I bet things didn’t go how you imagined they’d go.”
“Oh, no it’s fine.” she quickly raises her hands in innocence “I just wonder what happened…”
“The man who wrote you in recognized you. He was a general alongside your father.”
“Do you know his name?” she asks.
“Clara Lyonsi.”
“Puppies.”
“Excuse me?”
“He’s the one who sent the watercolours of puppies for my birthday cards. She explains. “Every year on my birthday I’d get a new Delarouge book from mother and a stack of birthday cards from the various generals and officers still stationed in Choumuri. It was a bit of a contest, one more elaborate than the last in order to win over my father’s favour.” She bites her lip “I’m surprised Lyonsi is a man. my nursemaid was called Clara as well and she was a woman so I assumed Lyonsi was too. It’s oddly disappointing.”
“I see.” I take a sip from my cup of tea, trying to find a way to broach the next subject.
When she does it for me.
“Was the thing about father wanting to marry me off to the old king’s son to legitimize our stay there true?” She asks, eyes deep into her teacup.
“According to Lyonsi yes, but it was my first time hearing about it. I explain “I assume it was yours too?”
She nods. “But if it were true you’d know right?”
I shake my head “Such things are the things generals discuss with one another, not with the family mechanic.”
“I see.” She chuckles nervously. “It’s silly. In the train I considered maybe the marriage plans were the reason you offered to come along. Since you knew I wouldn’t become happy there.”
“I think I could see that much, even without knowing about the wedding plans.”
She almost chokes on her tea for a second, coughs turning into laughs “Fair enough.”
“I think I know the answer but I must ask. Do you consider going back? Now that you know this.”
“No. No I don’t. I don’t think Cygnian troops ought to be in Jaobai to begin with. I don’t want to aid in keeping father in power there.”
“I expected as much.”
The waitress comes back with several bowls and baskets filled with pieces of chopped fruit and chunks of bread. Then after setting that down another lady follows with a large pot of very nostalgic smelling food.
“Enjoy your meal.”
“That won’t be difficult.”
Ah, qjata and sja, the smells of home.
I pick up a piece of bread and drag it through the stew, having a bite that sends me back to large family dinners that always ended in chaos.
But in a good way.
Alice tries to follow my example but the chickpeas immediately slide off her chunk the moment she tries to lift it upward, leaving her with an empty but soggy piece.
“I can ask for a spoon if you like.”
“No, no I can do it.” She tries dipping the bread in again but by now it’s far too soft for the job.
“Eat that one and try again with a fresh piece.” I instruct her.
“Right.” She puts the bread in her mouth and quickly reaches for the qjata. “It’s still quite spicy.” She muffles.
“Really?”
She swallows and quickly adds “It’s not too bad, I can eat it, I just didn’t expect it.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, the mint helps a lot to tone it down.” She grabs a new piece of bread from the basket and tries again. This time she manages so capture some of the chickpeas. Quickly craning her neck take a bite before the pieces fall down again.
I smile encouragingly at her “Well done.” I pick up a piece of mango and take a bite, fresh and sweet at the same time, the perfect compliment to the rich dish.
“And besides I don’t like men.”
I furrow my eyebrows at that “What do you mean?”
“With the wedding thing. Sorry, I kept thinking about it. I don’t want to marry the son of the previous king because I don’t like men that way.”
“Oh, I see.” I have another bite of my mango. I wonder if she told me that before but I don’t think she did.
I’m not surprised however. Oh that reminds me. “Alice?”
“Yes?”
“I think it might be for the best if you dye your hair. I didn’t expect anyone to recognize you after spending so long in the locked city but it turns out I was wrong about that.”
Alice hums “Oh, uh, I quite like the blond. Would cutting it help as well? All the way short, like your hair.”
“Are you sure about that?”
“Honestly I’ve been wanting to do it for quite some time, I just never found the courage.”
Really? I didn’t expect that but it’s quite convenient. “Then we’ll look for a hairdresser before going back to Venusia tomorrow.”
“Good.” She grabs another piece of bread, holds it by the pot, then freezes for a second. She pulls it back. “Dana there’s something I need to tell you.”
Well that sounds severe all of a sudden. “What is it?”
“I don’t know if this is the right time, I hope it is but if it’s not I like to apologize in advance. But it’s just something I’ve been meaning to get off my chest for a while now and with the exams out of the way now I kind of feel it’s now or never so I just. I want to tell you that I- Uh.” She averts her eyes from me “I…adore you? Like I want to be close to you and I miss you when you’re not there. You see, I wouldn’t be who I am without you and I’m so grateful about that but I think there’s more in my heart than just admiration for a strong, beautiful and kind teacher but a drive to be close to you and I already said that didn’t I? I mean, like I feel like would die if you were to ever leave me…hyperbolically speaking of course, I wouldn’t actually die. And I know you probably don’t feel the same way about me because well…I don’t even know if you’re gay like me. And the age gap is like a decade and you’re my teacher, which is why I held out in telling you until I did my exam, because now that I have a certificate you can stop being my teacher. And I know it’s not exactly romantic to give someone a confession while you’re actively on the run. But I also figured that I’m very relieved we escaped and that idea that I never told you how I felt about you if I did get captured and sent back that’d make me feel very bad and I’m getting really off course now aren’t I? I’m sorry I uh, that’s…that’s what I needed to tell you.”
I can almost feel my brain crunch as I take in the avalanche of information.
Oh!
Oh…
Crap.
I missed a bunch of cues again, didn’t I?
I try to think back the last couple days. The museum, the shared bed.
She mentioned this had been on her mind for a long time.
“Thank you for telling me.” that’s a good start right? “That must have been a heavy burden to drag along with you.”
She scratches the back of her head “Yes, yes it was.”
I rest my hands on the table. “I have a confession of my own. Not the one you’re hoping for alas, but as important. At least to me.”
She blinks at me. “Uh, yeah sure, go on?”
“When it comes down to the ‘adore’ you describe. I don’t feel the same way about you, or anyone else for that matter. I don’t think I’m capable of it.” or detect it for that matter which is how we’re here again.
“But that’s…I don’t understand. You’re one of the kindest, most loving people I’ve ever met.” She counters.
“The way I’ve come to understand it that’s a different type of love. It’s a love for humankind in general. It doesn’t burn in the way romantic love is supposed to.”
She thinks on that for a moment. The concludes. “Altruism, rather than romance?”
“Exactly.” I’m relieved she understands so quickly. But then she’s always been a clever girl. I’ve tried to feel that romantic love that people describe in books and plays but for the longest time I thought the people in stage were just exaggerating for the sake of theater. When I learned some people actually feel that way about one another. I felt broken. Like some part of my humanity was missing.
It took me a long time to come to terms with it.
And in times like these I still feel bad that I cannot get it, can’t understand what the other is going through.
But she doesn’t need to know that.
“Now the reason I told you this is because I want you to know you’re a wonderful young lady. And you’ve grown so much ever since I met you. And one day you’ll find a lady who will be far more interesting than me and the two of you will live be very happy together. So please don’t take my rejection and turn it into a personal failure.”
“Yeah, no, it’s fine. Thank you. I- so what’s that pink fruit? It looks tasty. Can I have some?” she reach for the fruit bowl.
“Alice?” I ask carefully.
“I’m fine.” She looks away, but not in time for me to miss the tears “Is there a water-closet in this place?” She gets up.
I get up with her, put a hand on her shoulder before she can escape me.
Hug her.
“You’re allowed to feel Elizabeth.” I tell her while trying not to crush her with all the tension coursing through me. “You don’t have to hide your tears from me.”
She wraps her arms around me and rests her head on my shoulder.
I ignore the stares from the other guests.
I take a deep breath.
“It’s gonna be okay.” I tell her.
Then repeat it once again just for me.
“It’s gonna be okay.”